9 months

Dear Little T,

What a month. All of a sudden you are making big strides, and the dichotomy of being a mom emerges again.

You measured, two days ago, at almost 27 inches tall. That means you've grown an entire FOOT since birth. A foot. Do you have any idea how long it took me to grow the last foot I grew? YEARS. And you've gone from nothing to over two feet tall in something like 16 months. I'll never cease to marvel about it, even though I've seen it a million times with other people's kids.

Your first tooth came in this month. During the week of Christmas break. While Daddy was sick. So, yeah, it's been fun. I spent the whole week taking care of screaming, angry T, when I'd gotten to really enjoy cheerful, happy T. I was so looking forward to spending a week with happy T, and playing, and cooing, and I got an angry, angry child. Seriously, I put you down and you screamed like I had stabbed you repeatedly with needles (much like when we got your shots).  Except this happened every time I put you down. Since we've been to the doctor, oh, weekly since Thanksgiving, I promise you, you are not in pain because I'm putting you down. You did, however, make me want to give you to the circus. Fortunately, the tooth popped through, you bit me, and I was sure all was well. But those crankies did not go away. They went away abouta week or so later when the second tooth came through as well!

Christmas was...it sucked. I was excited about the idea of opening presents as a little family. And we did! Like two days after Christmas, because Daddy was so sick, he couldn't even get out of bed to go to Grandma's house, and I had to take you alone. After two presents, it was too much, and you started to cry.

There was plenty of good stuff - you learned to roll all over the place, so it's anybody's guess where you'll be if I leave you on the floor for a minute and come back. I'll put you in the living room, and you'll be gnawing on the dog's tail in the kitchen by the time I turn around.  I'm not joking; you tried to chew on my foot this morning, too. Also, you're getting up on your hands and knees! That sounds like no big deal, but you do it, and you rock, too! Yes, that totally means you're awesome, but it also means you're rocking back and forth, like you're thinking about crawling. You even launched yourself forward like..well, like a kid on a bike with training wheels going off a ramp, and landed about and inch in front of where you started. But hey! It's a start! You're going to crawl!

All my notes for this month have to do with the crankies. It overwhelmed us this month, but, as I said, you are true sunshine now that those darn teeth have come through. You were impossible to entertain for more than oh, three seconds at a time, and now you're happy as a clam to play with your box of diapers for an hour or so. I had to re-Ferberize you (YES, we do that. I love you more than I can say, but if you refused to sleep all night, or woke up 10 times a night, I'd kill myself and your Dad - obviously not in that order) because you were waking up at least twice a night, and Daddy's been working tons of overtime. He awesome for that - believe me - so we can pay your NICU bills, but I sure do miss him when you're crying in the middle of the night.

I had this whole internal debate with myself the other day - I thought it was very deep at the time. I wondered if I was spoiling you by holding you every night and rocking you to sleep and such. I always wondered what possessed parents to spoil their children, but I would give my eyeteeth and pinky fingers to keep you smiling. Half the time I worry that I'm not giving you enough love and attention and you'll grow up to be a sociopath (THANKS, Criminal Minds!) and the other half I worry I spoil you too much and you'll grow up to be a sociopath (Thanks again, Criminal Minds. Awesome show, truly terrible on the parent psyche).

Your new sound! You tell us very emphatically each day, "Da! DAdadadaDA! DA! Daaaaaa!" You even informed me that "Daddadada". Not a "Mama" in sight. Except for the class "Goo" and "Aaaah", you're not doing any more talking.

I love you. More every day, even when you're being a pill. Every day you give me another reason to laugh and smile. I can't wait to see what you accomplish next.

Love,
Mamma

“Time doth flit; oh shit.” 
― Dorothy Parker