I think I have to be barking mad

to be an interesting blogger. Like, read dooce.com, or thebloggess. They're awesome. They're funny. They're fucking crazy. Especially the bloggess, but I just want to be her more. And I will always be me, the white bread vanilla chick who likes to go to dragoncon. Did I mention we're going to Dragoncon? Did I mention that i want to bring a baby dressed as Spock someday? Especially since Leonard Nimoy is going to be there? Oh, wouldn't it be fab. He totally would not be impressed, but that wouldn't make it any less fun, now, would it?

Saving Money

Make your own laundry detergent! This is the super cheapest thing on earth, and I'm actually pretty excited about it. My only fear is that my husband is going to look at me like I'm crazy.

Here's the blog post where it shows the guy saving over $50 on laundry detergent from The Simple Dollar.com:
http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/04/09/making-your-own-laundry-detergent-a-detailed-visual-guide/

Think I'll go eat worms

Remember that song? "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I'll go eat worms!" I was feeling this way to the point that I was digging in the backyard this morning, when suddenly the sky opened up, the angels sang, and I finally learned the rest of the Hallelujah chorus. I got a job! I got a job teaching! I got a job teaching college students! Isn't it funny how you think it's the end of the world when you get fired/laid off from a job, and something better usually comes along? I'm seriously ready to get out my magic want and turn into a giant bouncy ball, and act out that bouncy ball commercial myself!



Maybe now we'll be able to have babies! This certainly takes up less time than my old job did (albeit grading papers will take a lot MORE time, but I can do that at home!)

Reject

Dear Mab,

Thank you so much for investigating employment opportunities with S____________. I was most fortunate to have the pleasure of speaking with several highly qualified applicants, including you, which made the selection process very difficult.

We have identified a candidate that matches our qualifications and requirements perfectly and have decided to select that applicant.

Please accept my most sincere thanks and appreciation for your interest in and application for a teaching position. May I wish you every success in your search for employment.

Sincerely,

S

Yes, it's boring. Yes, I'm lucky I got any answer at all. No matter than I held my breath for two weeks over this, that it was the perfect position for me, that I waited, eschewing anything that could put me out of sorts with God for the whole day I was SURE they'd call, refusing to eat meat or any small children in hopes that it would be please Him enough to let me have this job. All in vain.

Dear. wild world. I want to know how I could know so many people, and not know one that would be willing to help me find a job, so we have the money to afford babies? (or to afford getting my husband to agree to let me have a baby?)

And, to add insult to very serious injury, sitting around the house all day with nothing to do is making me get fat. I love Weight Watchers, but all I want to do is watch the TV and the food. It calls to me. It sings to me. It even dances for me a little. I live for coffee, soda, and pizza. And a job. Hellooooo, job world? Any one want a teacher?